How I Finally Understood My Determination
This post is my own lived story — a real example of what happens when someone spends years eating “correctly” according to trends, diets, and advice… but not according to their Determination.
I’m sharing it because Determination is not abstract. It’s not theoretical. It’s not about food rules. It’s about how the body takes in life. And for me, that truth only became clear when I realized I had been living in Transference — specifically, the Transference of Thirst.
Before I Knew My Determination
For most of my life, I thought my struggles with food were about: discipline willpower
the “right” diet the “right” routine the “right” meal plan I tried everything — clean eating, intuitive eating, fasting, grazing, structured meals, unstructured meals. Nothing ever felt right. Nothing ever felt mine. I wasn’t sick. I wasn’t unhealthy. I was simply… not aligned. And I didn’t know why.
The Moment I Learned About Determination
When I discovered Determination in Human Design, something clicked. Not in a dramatic, lightning‑bolt way — more like a quiet recognition: “Oh. This is why nothing has ever felt correct.”
My Determination is Touch. But I had been living as if I were Thirst. And that changed everything.
What Transference Looked Like for Me
For me, Transference wasn’t about food at all. It was about the environment — the very thing Touch depends on. I lived in a house for eleven years that felt wrong from the moment I stepped inside. I used to describe it as living above the pits of hell. There was an awful smell embedded into the walls — no matter what I did, I could never get rid of it. The atmosphere was heavy, distorted, and emotionally abrasive. And because Touch Determination takes in life through contact, closeness, and the sensory field of the environment, that house slowly pushed my body out of correctness. I didn’t know it at the time, but I was living in Transference to Thirst.
I started researching endlessly. I started investigating strange things — even ley lines — because something in me knew the environment was wrong. I felt like the house was draining me, eating into my energy, even affecting my electricity. My neighbor across the street, without knowing anything about my experience, told me he believed the entire street was sitting on a negative ley line. He had noticed the same electrical disturbances. And here’s the part that still shocks me:
When I moved just ten minutes away — same size house, same lifestyle, same heating habits — my electricity bills changed dramatically. The old house had been consuming energy in a way that made no sense. The new house felt calm, clean, and energetically neutral. The heating worked normally. The atmosphere didn’t fight me. That’s when I realized: I wasn’t living incorrectly. I was living in the wrong environment. And my body had slipped into Transference because it couldn’t anchor into Touch. Touch needs the right sensory field. When the environment is wrong, the body reaches for Thirst — for stimulation, for answers, for investigation, for “why is this happening?” My story wasn’t about food. It was about how the body takes in life. And for eleven years, my body was trying to survive a place it could never settle into.
When I shifted back into Touch, everything began to make sense — even though I didn’t know it at the time.
For years, I had been following the wrong chart. The tropical system had labeled me Indirect Light, and I tried to live that way. I tried eating at night. I tried following rules that never felt natural. And of course it didn’t make sense — because my body was never Indirect Light. My body was Touch all along. When I finally left the house that had been distorting my entire sensory field, the environment opened up. My system softened. My clarity returned. And without realizing it, I began my deep research into Human Design — slowly piecing together the truth of my mechanics. Things started working again. My body was calmer. My mind was quieter. My system wasn’t fighting the environment anymore.
But the biggest shift came years later, when I discovered my True Sidereal chart. When I saw Touch, everything clicked. Suddenly the last decade of my life made sense. Suddenly the confusion around “Indirect Light” dissolved. Suddenly I understood why nothing had ever felt correct. And I also saw the damage I had been doing to my body — not intentionally, but because I had been trying to fit myself into a Determination that was never mine. Because here’s the truth:
When we’re told Determination is about “food,” we get trapped in patterns that have nothing to do with our actual design. I had been eating at night, trying to follow Indirect Light, and my body suffered for it. I gained weight. My rhythms were disrupted. My system was stressed. And it had consequences in my life. When I turned 54, I finally said: “Enough. I can’t keep eating at night. This isn’t working.” And just weeks later, I discovered I was Touch Calm. The relief was immediate. My body exhaled. My system began to heal. And I finally understood why nothing had ever made sense before. I wasn’t broken. I wasn’t inconsistent. I wasn’t failing. I was simply living in the wrong Determination. And once I returned to Touch, my body began its healing journey — naturally, quietly, and in its own time.
When I look back now, I can see that nothing was ever wrong with me. My body was simply waiting for the right environment, the right mechanics, and the right truth. Touch was always there — quiet, patient, and steady — waiting for me to return. And once I did, my life began to make sense in a way it never had before. This is the power of Determination. It doesn’t change who you are. It brings you back to who you’ve always been.
If this story resonates with you, you can explore more here:
→ Touch Determination
→ All Six Determinations
→ Follow me on Pinterest
→ Follow me on Ko‑fi
→ Book a Reading
Your body already knows the way. Sometimes it just needs the right environment to speak.